Loveletters
by Phoebe Turner1
Summary: Phoebe writes a series of letters to Cole after he dies in "Long Live The Queen."


Disclaimer: They're not mine. If they were, C/P would be blissfully happy. Well, not happy, but TOGETHER, damnit! Not making any money off of this story, so please don't sue.   
  
Timeframe: After season 4's "Long Live The Queen."   
  
Summary: Phoebe writes a series of letters to Cole after he's vanquished. I'm pretty much rewriting everything after LLTQ, because I hated the way season four ended.   
  
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May 5, 2002  
Dear Cole,   
It's been two days since you....went away. I can't say....what really happened. I just can't. I really can't, or I'll break down. I can't because I need to stay strong for our baby.   
Piper said that I should write a letter to you. She said that she did it after Prue died and it helped her through. So I'll try this. There's nothing else better to do, anyway. So this letter is for you, only I don't know where to send it.   
Oh God, where are you right now? Can you hear me? Do you know how much I love you? Can you ever forgive me for what I did? Yes, we had to vanquish the Source, but we could have tried to save you from him first. I hope that you're okay. I know that I shouldn't hope, but I can't help it. I hope that you're someplace nice and watching over me. And I hope that if you are, that Prue doesn't slam dunk you across the room.   
I won't let anyone hurt our baby, Cole. I swear it.   
Love,   
Phoebe  
  
May 6, 2002  
Dear Cole,  
How do I even begin to stop the pain? Missing you hurts so much. I cry myself to sleep ever night and go through the day like a zombie. I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't been to work in days. I don't know what to tell Elise. But I can't go. What kind of adivce could I give to people, anyway?  
I want to go back to the penthouse and smell your pillow and sleep on our couch, but I don't know how to go back. I can't go alone, and to Piper and Paige, all it is is another tool the Source used to try to spilt us apart. They won't understand.   
I'm going to go to sleep now, because the baby needs his rest. Are you still watching over me? Sweet dreams, Cole.   
Love,   
Phoebe  
  
May 7, 2002  
Dear Cole,   
I had a nightmare tonight, and I screamed so loud that Piper and Paige were in the room in about three seconds. Oh Cole, it was awful. They rushed me to the hospital to have our baby, and I was all alone. I got just a glimpse of our son before the Seer appeared and stole him away. I was screaming for someone to stop her, but nobody listened to me. Oh God, cole, I'm so scared. What if it was a premonition and it comes true? I don't know if I can fight her off without you. You're watching over us, right?  
Love,   
Phoebe  
  
May 8, 2002  
Dear Cole,   
I went back to the newspaper office today. Piper and Paige must have told Elise something because she didnt' ask any questions. I'm writing this from my office. There's a picture of us on my desk. It still hurts, Cole. It hurts to remember. But I'm going to remember, because in my fanstasy world, we're not apart. You're just running from the bounty hunters again, and you'll come back home soon, and then we're going to go to the South of France again. I remember that, and I know that you do, too, wherever you are.   
Love,   
Phoebe  
  
May 9, 2002  
Dear Cole,  
Why am I still writing these? It's not like I can mail them.....they just sit on the desk, never being re-read or even read by the person they're meant for. Or are they? Can you hear what I'm saying, writing, and thinking? Are these words reaching you, or is this all a waste of my time? I hate having so many questions. I feel like I'm five years old again. I almost wish I was, because them I wouldn't have to worry about powers and demons and death. But if the past three years hadn't happened, I never would have met you. I think it just might all be worth it.   
Love,  
Phoebe  
  
May 10, 2002  
Dear Cole,   
I had that nightmare again, the one with the Seer. She wants our baby, I know it. I don't know what to do, Cole. I wish you were here to show me, because I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to make it on my own. Maybe I should tell Piper and Paige and ask them for help. Don't worry, Cole, I'll make sure our baby's safe.   
Love,  
Phoebe 


End file.
